I am sorry

I know I have been gone for a while. Things got pretty crazy lately. But I am back on track. From now until June 15 there will be little to no food in this mouth. Why June 15? Because that is in a month and a half, and I thought that was a pretty good deadline to start with. So between now and then it will be fasting or 250 cal days everyday. I am highly motivated, and super determined. Watch me lose all this fat girls. Just watch me!

The Scale

Today it says 130lbs. I think it might have been right yesterday... Thank God I fasted. And I am fasting again today. My sister is baking cookies, but I am leaving for the library before they are ready. I will be there until 5, and then the friend that took me to the museum yesterday is picking me up to go get some dinner and hang out. I expect to be back home around 11, which is time to go to bed. As you can see, no time to eat!

Fasting - the first successful day

Finally a successful day! I didn't eat anything and all I drank was water, 1 diet coke and tea! I managed to do this by leaving the house around 10 this morning and coming back at 6 (I went to a museum with this friend of mine!), telling my mom I had already eaten, and reading an interesting book 'til now. Tomorrow I am leaving again around noon to go study in the local library, and I think I might meet a group of friends around dinner time, so that I can keep my mind off food!

Help

I am writing while crying. Something has happened but I don't know what. Today the scale said 133. How is that possible? How can I possibly have gained 4 pounds since yesterday? I don't understand... Could the scale be broken? Could I have read my weight wrong yesterday? Something is wrong but I don't know what. I wanna be skinny and pretty..

Let me share some THINSPIRATION

Plans plans plans

Okay, so some of you have asked me for how long I am thinking about going without food (aka fasting). My plan is to fast until Easter, which is this Sunday. That would be 4 days of fasting. 

Has anyone here done that in the past? If so, can you please share your experience? How was it, besides the obvious? I am used to muscle pain and feeling cold, but is there something else I should know? 

So far, so good...

It's past dinner time and I haven't eaten anything at all. 

This first day of fasting might very well turn out to be successfull!

I AM SO EXCITED

So, after yesterday's binge (2000 cal+) I thought that today I would be a total monster! Turns out that I only gained a pound. This is such a relief. I am at 129 now. I am going to fast for a couple of days, still. Eating that much yesterday made me feel extremely dizzy today. Food is a poison!!!    

Announcement

I binged tonight. It was bad. So bad that one day of fasting won't solve it. So I am going to fast for some time. Actually I doubt I will be hungry for a while since I ate so much today. I am very disgusted and ashamed of myself, so I won't be coming back here for a couple of days. I plan on coming again on the weekend, hopefully with better news. I am really sorry girls. Really, really sorry.

Negative Calorie Foods = true or false?

Do you believe in such a thing? 

Let me know your feelings!

More food

- 1 Nature Valley Granola Thin, Dark Chocolate = 80 cal

- 5 Eating Right peeled baby-cut carrots = 35 cal

- 1 Slice of reduced fat cheese (Alpine Lace, 25% Reduced Fat Provolone) = 60 cal 

Total meal: 175 cal

Total today: 255 cal

Calories left: 45 cal

No, I am not proud of myself. The amount of calories in this meal isn't bad, but the amount of fat in is (12-14% daily requirement).

I'll never be 100 pounds. Never.

Good Morning Sunshine :)

Today at 3pm I am officially on vacation - Spring Break, finally! I have two major tests today for which I didn't really study since my obsession with losing weight doesn't really leave me time to think about anything else. But you know what? I don't care! All I care about is that Spring Break is coming... time to relax, sleep in and lose enough weight to impress my friends when I go back to school.

Let's try another 300 cal day.

Breakfast: Dannon Fight & Fit Yogurt (Vanilla) = 80 cal.

So far, so good!

According to my calculations...

I had 330 cal today (max):

- 80 from the yogurt in the morning

- 100 from the cookie (please Lord, make it so that it didn't have more than that!)

- 150 from the plums (since I ended up eating a little more)

The goal was 300 though, meaning that I have failed. However, I did work out a little today, so I think I burnt those 30 extra cal. Also, I am pushing all my values up, so it is possible that I actually had less calories than these.

Anyway, tomorrow is Day 4 so I should have 400 cal! Nevertheless, I am thinking about cutting it down to 300 :) 

I wanna be skinny so so bad. 

I need tips

Please tell me what you do when 
you feel you are about to binge. 

I need all the tips I can get!

I am a disgrace

I managed not to eat from 9.15 to 6.15 (9 hours) but I just ate like 5 or 6 Sunsweet dried plums, which I think have around 90 cal. I am a disgrace. I am totally unworthy of all your encouragement. You are all very strong and beautiful young woman, and I am just a fat girl lacking self control.

Optimize your Time, Exercise while at School/College/Work

That is right m'ladies! Why not burn some extra calories and tone up some muscles when we could be doing so? I am not a big exercise fan, nor a very active person, but the truth is that working out really does help to shape our bodies into perfection.

Conviced? Good! Then, here are the three very easy (and very discreet) exercises I have been doing today while sitting in class:

- Hip Flexion: Sit tall with the abs in and lift the left foot off the floor a few inches, knee bent. Hold for 2 seconds, lower and repeat for 16 reps.  Repeat on the other side.
- Leg Extension: Sit tall with the abs in and extend the left leg until it's level with hip, squeezing the quadriceps. Hold for 2 seconds, lower and repeat for 16 reps.  Repeat on the other side.
- Butt Squeezes: Self-explanatory!

When will I stop cheating myself?

Okay so, I had packed 4 pieces of Mariani Sun-Ripened Mixed Fruit, no sugar added (20 cal) to eat during first break at 10am, and 1/2 cup of CVS Gold Emblem Chicken Broth (100 cal) for lunch. Together they would add to the 80 cal I ingested this morning so that by the time I got home at 4pm I'd still have 100 cal left. Now wasn't that a genious meal plan? But of course I had to spoil it all!

During 1st period, a friend of mine offered me a homemade chocolate chip & mint cookie, which I accepted!! Can someone please explain to me why the hell did I do that? Because I cannot understand! It wasn't a big cookie, actually it was kinda small, but still! I have absolutely no idea of how many calories it had, but I am sure it had too many! Why am I such a pig? Why can't I keep my mouth closed? Do I want to stay this weight forever, or worse - gain weight? Do I? Because if I do then I am doing a great job!

...

Okay, lets calm down... There is nothing I can do about it now. However, there is still hope! The cookie couldn't possibly have 220 cal (the amount of cal I had left for today!) so all I have to do is fast for the rest of the day. I'll bin my fruit and the chicken broth, and I'll try to come up with an excuse for skipping dinner. 

Please girls, give me strengh! I really want to successfully complete Day 3!

DAY 3 - Thank you & Breakfast

Have you noticed that there is always some kind of note attached to my breakfast post? Haha :)

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you all for being so wonderful. When I started this journey, only a couple days ago, I was alone. I was strong, but sometimes I lacked motivation for I had no one to cheer for me. Now I have 12 beautiful followers and a couple more girls that comment on my posts all the time. It means the world to me. It is great to know that there is people out there that understand, approve and support my choices. It is great to know that there is people out there who read and care about what I have to say. I'll always be here for every single one of you. You can count on me. ♥

Now for the breakfast. Today is Day 3, meaning I can have 300 cal. My breakfast will be extremely small, yet super delicious! Wanna take a guess? 

- 1 Dannon Lit & Fit Yogurt (Raspberry) = 80 cal

Total Breakfast: 80 cal

Total today: 80 cal

Calories left: 220

I am pretty sure some of you guessed it! Teehee! I've been eating these a lot lately! They are really great and come in many different flavours. Right now I have a stock of Strawberry & Banana, Peach, Vanilla, and Raspberry, but there are many more available. You girls should give them a try! ;)

Day 2 - Snack #2

Okay so I just had like 15 extra calories since I ate:

- 3 pieces of Mariani Sun-Ripened Mixed Fruit (no sugar added).

I think I will do some exercise for like 20 mins before going to bed. It's all my fault for thinking of food! Of course I'd get hungry. Stupid me.

Cravings

You have NO IDEA of how much I feel like Clam Chowder right now. Thank God we don't have it here at home, or I would totally binge! 

Or Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts. Thank God we don't have those either! (I might have to buy a package soon. But each Pop-Tart has 200 cal... I guess I won't be eating anything else for the day! Or maybe I should just wait until I lose my 30 pounds and then eat one. Oh, decisions, decisions! Help me girls!)

A Weightly Decision

I've just decided that I won't weight myself tomorrow or the day after. I'll only do it again on Wednesday morning. I have been losing at least one pound a day, which is great, but I think I am OCDing a little bit too much about it. Plus, if I don't do it for two days straight I might be very positively surprised and get a huge motivation boost!

Who's with me? :)

DAY 2 - Dinner

Okay sooo... I ate quite a lot but all I had was salad. Plus, most the things I ate were negative cals food. 

Lets see:

- Asparagus (Neg. Cals)

- Lettuce (Neg. Cals)

- Red Leaf Lettuce (Not sure if it's Neg. Cals but seriously how many calories can it possibly have??)

- Onions (Neg. Cals)

- Grapefruit (very little, like one bite, and it is too Neg. Cals)

- One grilled mushroom (not sure of how many cals it has, but then again it can't have that many!)

I don't think I ate anything else. I had to pick things very carefully because there were avocados in the salad and those are very very high cal. I am sure I got some little pieces of them in my lettuce leaves though, but I am trying not to think too much about it. Ugh!

Anyway, I had 220 cals left and I am pretty sure I didn't use them all. However, I decided that I won't eat anything else today. It's like a punishment for eating things without being sure of their caloric value!

I guess this means that I have successfully completed ABC Diet's Day 2! YAY!

Me

Yes, it's a ridiculous picture, I know. I just took it. I thought some of you might like to see the face of who's writing this blog. I won't be posting pictures of myself every so often. At least not until I become a thinspiration (haha, it was a joke! I wish!)

Thank you for all your support <3

I truely believe that together we can do it!

Uh-Oh

We have guests for dinner. Let me see if I can get away with only eating salad... I was trying to keep under 400 cal today since I haven't exercised at all. My energy level is really down so I've spent most my day in bed and doing homework (speaking of which, I still haven't finished!). I'll let you know what happens...

DAY 2 - Snack

Let's just say my luch wasn't very substantial! Here is what I just ate:

- 1 Dannon Light & Fit Yogurt (Vanilla) = 80 cal

Delicious!! This was just the treat I needed! Now I think I'll be able not to eat until dinner!

Total Snack: 80 cal

Total today: 280 cal

Calories left: 220 cal

DAY 2 - Lunch

Since I had a high caloric breakfast I decided to have a really really light lunch.

- 1 cup of CVS Gold Emblem Beef Borth - 20 cal

This has a little Fat (10 cal, 2% Daily Value) but none is Satured, and it also has some Protein!

Total lunch: 20 cal

Total today: 200 cal

Calories left: 300 cal

Wanna keep your mind away from food? GET BUSY!

Yup, that is the best trick! I am going to do some homework right now! Don't worry, I'll be back to let you know what I had for lunch.

Keep strong girls, I believe in you!

xx

Muscle Pain? I think it's normal! :)

I've been experiencing some muscle pain lately, which I think it's totally normal and will eventually go away. I mean, I am new to all this ANA thing, so it's only natural that my body needs adjustment.

What do you girls out there think? And what do you do to reduce it?

I just took a very warm shower and I feel a lot better now! :)

DAY 2 - Good News Again & Breakfast

Hey everyone! I just lost another pound! I am currently at 128 lbs! It is still a lot but I am getting there! Yay!

Okay so, today is Day 2, meaning we are supposed to ingest 500 cals or less. Well, if I didn't mind eating the same over and over again I could just eat exactly what I ate yesterday... but that doesn't work for me. Being on a diet is tough, but we can make it a little easier by adding some variety to it!

So here is what I just had:

- 3/4 cup of Kellogg's Special K Oats & Honey w/ 1/2 cup of Horizon Organic 0% Milk = 165 cal

And my pills:

- 1 Phenphedrine (lots of energy, little hunger!)

- 1 Nature's Bounty Calcium = 15 cal (it is worth it, it has 120% of our Calcium daily requirement)

- 1 CVS Naturalized Spectravite Plus (which has all the Vitamins and Minerals you can think of with extra C, E & A!)

Total breakfast: 180 cal

Total today: 180 cal

Calories left:  320

I know, I know I went a little over the top! But with some effort I can still keep myself around 400 cals today. Lets wait and see how I do!

DAY 1 - Supper

Ta-daa! Time for the last meal of the day and I still have 130 cal left! However, you must remember that you should never eat too much before bed time, for you won't be able to burn the calories as well! So here is what I am going to eat:

- 2 Sunsweet dried plums = 30 cals.

Total supper: 30 cals

Total today: 400 cals

Calories left: 100 cals

And today the ABC Diet was successfully followed! Day 1 says: "500 cals or less". Well, I did it! 400 cals! 

Hurray! I am one step closer to perfection!

Show your support!!

Are you Pro Ana? Then show your support! All you need is to wear a red bracelet. It doesn't matter if it's beaded or not, if it's large or small, all it matters is it's color: red! I am using a beaded one and also a red hair tie in my right wrist. It really helps when you look at it and think of all the girls around the world who're supporting you and your eating habits! You'll never feel alone again. 

Disclaimer: This is not my own idea/initiative. Google it if you want. Red bracelets are indeed the Pro Ana's official symbol. 

A little exercise

I am now going for a little 45 mins walk with my mom, my dad and my dog Lizzy! We're going to Lake Temascal! I love going there and throwing the frisbee! Plus it will certainly burn a couple of calories!

DAY 1 - Dinner

Dinner is easy tonight:

- 1 scoop of Jillian Michaels Natural Whey Protein with water = 100 cal

Total dinner: 100 cal
Total today: 370 cal

Calories left: 130 cal

This is great since it has 31% of our daily Protein requirements! It also has some Fiber! (Sure it has a little Fat in it too: 2g (3% daily value), but is totally worth it! We can't afford to get sick, now can we?

Saturday House Cleaning

No one likes to clean the house! But there is an incentive: think of all the calories you will be burning! More motivated? I thought so! :)

Acne and Strech Marks? No thank you!

I read that the ABC Diet can cause us to have acne. Losing weight too fast can also cause us to have strech marks! Now, we don't one either one, do we? Of course not! So here is what I do to keep these things away:

Acne: 

1) Wash my face with Clean & Clear Acne Control Cleanser and apply the same brand moisturizer twice a day.
2) Apply Clean & Clear Fast Clearing Spot Treatment every other day before bed.
3) Apply Noviderm Boreade 12 (a first step correcting care) the days I don't apply the C&C Spot Treatment.

Strech Marks:

1) Drink a lot of water and tea throughout the day (at least 8 glasses a day)
2) Moisturize my skin with Nivea Cream at least once everyday.

Follow this tips and you won't have to deal with these disgusting things! The perfect body will be awaiting you! Woot Woot!

Note: You don't have to use the same brands I use! These are just guidelines!

DAY 1 - Lunch

Here is what I just ate:

- 1 Hard-boiled egg = 80 cal
- 1 Slice of reduced fat cheese (Alpine Lace, 25% Reduced Fat Provolone) = 60 cal
- 2 Sunsweet dried plums = 30 cal

Total lunch: 170 cal
Total today: 270 cal
Calories left: 230

This meal has some cals from fat in it (I'd say around 80 - 14% of the recommended daily value) but it is rich in Protein and the plums are a great source of Dietary Fiber.

Time for my pills!

- 1 Centrum Chewable
- 1 Nature's Bounty Calcium
- 1 Phenphedrine

Yesterday I took the Vitamin C so I don't need it today.

DAY 1 - Good News & A Great Breakfast

Hey guys! I have something wonderful to tell you! Despite my cheats within the last 2 days I managed to lose 2 pounds! I used to weight 131, now I am at 129! Yay me! This is just the motivation I needed to keep going!

Now for the breakfast. Today is Day 1 of the ABC Diet, which means I am supposed to ingest 500 cal or less. This can be done very easily, but I want to make sure I give my body the right food so that I don't get sick. 

Here is what I had:

- 5 medium strawberries = 20 cal

- 1 Danone Light & Fit yogurt (peach) = 80 cal

Total breakfast: 100 cal

Total today: 100 cal

Calories left: 400 cal

Strawberries are great for you because are very low in Saturated Fat, Cholesterol and Sodium. They are also a good source of Folate and Potassium, and an awesome source of Dietary Fiber, Vitamin C and Manganese!

As for the yogurt, it has only 80 cal (0 from fat!) and it is absolutely delicious. 

My next meal will be in about 3 hours. I'll come back and give you the details of what I ate. 

Love y'all

See y'all tomorrow

Ok guys, I am going to go to bed now. I am not quite sleepy yet so I'll just watch stuff on Netflix until I get tired (which shouldn't take long anyway, I am off my pills today remember?). I will come back tomorrow. Keep strong on your diets! It's all gonna pay off! Also, please don't forget to drink a lot of water and tea! Those are calorie-free and keep your hunger away while hydrating you! They are your best friends!

Note to whom might be concerned (very important)

It just came across to me that someone might find this blog unintentionally and think that I am very sick. I am not sick. I am not anorexic. I don't see my body out of proportion. I know when to stop! I am just restraining myself a little bit and following this diet until I lose my extra 30 pounds. After that I'll come back to my very normal eating habits (SLOWLY of course! I will not want to gain every single pound back!) What I am trying to tell you is that I don't intent to spend the rest of my life counting calories! I just want to lose this extra weight, and be happy! It shouldn't take to long anyway! Everything is gonna be fine so please don't worry about me. Plus, I am thinking about buying some supplements, some vitamins and calcium, you know? I want to make sure my body has everything it needs to function well! :)

You can't get the best of me!

I was forced to join my family at the dinner table tonight, they didn't buy my "not-feeling-so-well" act. Fortunately, they were so engaged in whatever they were talking about that they didn't notivce that all I ate was a couple of lettuce leaves! For those who don't know, lettuce is a negative calorie vegetable (which means that we use more calories to digest it then it actually contains!) so it's all good! Eating this will actually help me burn some extra calories, and now I am not hungry anymore! Everybidy wins!! 

Hurray for lettuce!

You gotta be kiddin' me!

My mom is making pizza for dinner! Gosh, what is wrong with her? Doesn't she see that it will only make her fat and greasy and horrible looking? 

... I will just tell her I don't feel right and skip dinner altogether! I wasn't intending to eat anyway!

The Punishment

In order to punish myself for this morning's stupidity (the crepe, in case you forgot!) I made the following decisions:

a) I won't eat anything else today.

b) I won't take any of my diet pills until tomorrow.

It is really hard to deal with my hunger without my diet pills, but I need something to remind me that I can't be as careless as I was this morning. I need to lose weight, and stupid crepes with cheese and fried ham are...

... definitely NOT gonna help me look like this!

Oops!

Last night I went clubbing!! I left my house at around 10 pm and got back home around 2.30 am. I am pretty sure all my crazy dancing burnt all of yerterday's pizza carbs! Plus, I didn't drink any alcohol in order not to ingest any other calories. I was really pround of myself! And I was even prouder when I woke up this morning at 8 and realized that I hadn't eaten anything for the last 14h! I wasn't even hungry!

But then it happened...

Since today was a late start day, my friends picked me up and took me out for breakfast. I couldn't refuse to eat (they would think something was wrong with me and I really don't want to call any attention to my new eating habits!) so I ended up having a small bowl of seasonal fruit (strawberies, banana, melon and grapes) and a crepe with swiss cheese and ham! Yes, I know!! A CREPE WITH CHEESE AND HAM! How many freaking cals do you think that was? Because I am pretty sure it was over the 500 I was supposed to ingest today, which means that I screwed up again!

Phenphedrine

I bought this bottle. It has 60 pills in it, 53 remaining. I will be taking 2 a day for the next couple of months, which means that I will have to buy more in about 2 weeks form now (so that I never run out). They work work WONDERS, taking ALL your appetite from you. The only thing that might remember you that you could use some food is probably muscle pain... whatever!

Getting Started

So I started dieting last monday, 4 days ago. Things were going pretty well, but today I had a break down - I ate one slice of pizza! I know, I know... But hey! I am going to start again! And this time will be it, I promise! My plan is to do the ABC Diet, and I will be posting here my progress!

First of all, here is the plan:

I have no idea of how many carbs I ate today, but I am going clubbing so I should burn them! And tomorrow, I am starting this!

Guess who is going to be as beautiful and skinny as this girl?

That's right: I AM!