Now I ordered pizza. 

Fuck my life.

So yeah

So much for the last post. I *kinda* started binging on dairy (chesse, milk, butter) and on those fitness cereal but was able not to do something too stupid. I don't think I hate TOO much, but I am worried that it will stay in my body for a long time since I am not planning on eating any time soon.

Almost a week gone without too many slips

Last night I ate a slim piece of bread with some butter. Today I ate some low fat cheese. Those were the two "big" slips of this week. I think it's been pretty good and I hope I can keep up. I haven't been counting the calories because I have barely been eating. I think I'm somewhere in between 100-300 cals a day, though. 

Week values:

SW: 141 pounds.

CW: 130 pounds

So I lost 11 pounds so far. I am really really scared that I will give in to my hunger and eat, especially now that college has started! My big motivation is that I am the heaviest of all my closest friends. One of them weights 97 pounds! She is a lot shorter than me, I must admit but still... she is a great inspiration.

Please let me be strong...

Should I cut out the dairy?

I have been drinking some 0 fat/low cal yogurts and skim milk but I was wondering if I should cut them out my diet. I have 20 pounds left to lose and I wanna lose them quickly but I am a sucker for exercise!

What do you think?

I had a terrible nightmare last night

I dreamt that I was eating non stop: pasta, cheese, fruit, yogurts, everything. It was horrible. When I woke up I was so scared that I had binged that I nearly broke down and cried... Then I understood it was all a dream. 

Did this ever happen to any of you?

AWESOME PROGRESS!

- 11 pounds in 5 days! I am completely amazed!

Power Walk

I am walking about 4 miles a day. Walking, not jogging, not running... just fast walking. I suck at sports but I am hoping this will *somehow* help me lose weight.

Any thoughts? :)

A little snack:

Thank you for existing frozen vegetables!

(100 grams = 37 cals)

Real goals will make me real thin

I have just come to a realization. I am not going to lose the 45 pounds I want to lose in a week, nor in a month, nor even in 2 months. It will probably take me until Christmas. Yup, that's it, that was my sudden enlightenment.

Now, how the heck am I going to do that? I have also come to the conclusion that my body won't let me fast for more than 3 days. After that I just binge and feel terrible!

So I searched the web and I found this: Diet Calculator. This tells me how many calories I should eat a day in order to get as skinny as I want. Did any of you try this before? Does it really work?

I am really thinking about giving this a shot. It says I should eat about 436 cals a day during the frist week... That isn't a disgusting amount, right?